On Privacy and Consent
I don’t think any of us survived being a child of the 70’s or 80’s without at least one snapshot of us diaper free, butt out, cute baby smile for the world to see; nor were we spared that cringeworthy moment as teenagers when our moms pulled out the photo album and showed company these precious memories. So my question is, how did we go from being those cringing teenagers to becoming parents who’ve chosen to share every detail of children’s lives with 100’s of ‘friends’ at just the click of a button?
It didn’t happen overnight. This generation of parents is in the unique situation of having been born into an analog world, while coming of age and into adulthood as the world became fully digital. We have the luxury of remembering a time when our entire lives weren’t online, while raising children who will know no other reality. It’s an unprecedented moment and with it comes a special set of challenges. As parents it is our responsibility to help our children navigate this brave new world safely.
I think we’ve all seen the posts about how to keep children safe on the internet, but unfortunately those tips often barely scratch the surface. We’ve heard about not posting revealing details such as the name of our children’s schools or tagging exact locations or place names, but we often ignore other less obvious giveaways. I’ve seen countless birth announcements with the exact date, time and full name of the baby who is swaddled in the hospital blanket whose logo appears front and center. Any mildly digitally savvy person is now armed with information that could be used to obtain vital records and other details that are often used in identity theft. Here’s where you defensively respond, but my account is private and I’ve only shared this with my friends. Sorry but little to nothing on the internet is private, nor do you actually know who the many 100’s of people in your network have given access to their profiles. Plain and simple, if the DOJ can be hacked, sweetie so can your Instagram.
This goes far beyond just net safety 101. The internet is forever. Even deleted content can be resurrected as new technology comes online. We’ve already heard about cases where 18 year old students have lost college scholarships because of an ‘offensive’ tweet from when they were 14. Employers are increasingly using people’s digital footprints as part of the screening process. Imagine what this will look like in 20 years when our children’s entire lives have been lived out online. Most of us wouldn’t let our 16 year old get a face tattoo for fear of destroying the possibility of future gainful employment, yet many of us allow them unfettered access to Tik Tok or the like where they can make any number of unwise decisions which can’t be deleted. In the case of young children we are also not allowing them the autonomy to consent to the use of their image and broadcast of their day to day lives. Even as a child gets older and can consent to the things we post, the onus still rests on us to make sure these choices are actually good for them instead of just ‘keeping us with the Jones’ and posting because we want to ‘out cute’ everyone else’s holiday post.
I will attempt to not get overly technical with this next part, but I would be remiss to overlook it. Technology continues to evolve exponentially quicker than our grasp of its use. Facial Recognition software has become ubiquitous and sophisticated enough to recognize even those with masks on. It relies on data and much like any mythical monster, the more you feed it, the stronger it gets. The sheer volume of pictures we post helps the algorithm to know more and more about our children. While this may seem harmless, the bottom line is that we have no idea how this data will be used in the future and as with anything involving our children we have the responsibility to err on the side of caution. Even more worrisome is the development of deepfake technology which allows realistic videos to be made from composite images and videos of a person. Imagine a future where 100’s of hours and 1000’s of images of a child are online ready to be used to create videos showing them doing and saying things that they’ve never said nor done. Sounds dystopian? Well it is.
The good news is that we have the power to prevent this from coming to pass. We all love our children and are rightfully incredibly proud of their milestones and accomplishments. The desire to share that with the world is natural and beyond understandable. But we have to do so with some honest and deep thought. We have to ask ourselves, are we sharing just to boost our own egos with likes and comments? Or are we telling our friends and family about a place we love or a new book they too might enjoy? I struggled with this very issue as I became a parent and chose to tell my daughter’s story online in an effort to help others who were going through similar circumstances. I had to walk the fine line between sharing my own experience and oversharing hers. One of the easiest ways to share safely is to avoid posting clear pictures of their faces. Facial recognition software functions (SEE LINK BELOW) best using well-lit front facing images. So an easy fix is to post pictures that either fully or partially obscure their face. Blurry images, shadows and profiles will still highlight the special moments you wish to share, while not giving up the same valuable data. Resist the urge to post month by month updates and limit the number of images you upload at a single time and all together. One image on a birthday is just as good as 25. I promise it won’t lessen the experience. There is a huge learning curve here and I myself have had to adjust my own behavior along the way. Navigating the digital world as a parent is a constant tug and pull, as I want to be able to share but I also want to keep my daughter safe. At the end of the day it is our job to be the frontline of defense as they navigate an increasingly complex and all encompassing digital future.
LINKS
Explaining Facial Recognition in Detail
How Deep Fakes Are Rapidly Developing